Green Eyed Monster
by Blackbirdox
Summary: Charlie knows he shouldn't be jealous of Todd. That just doesn't change the fact that he is.


**Disclaimer: I still don't own Dead Poets Society. Obviously. If I did, I'd be way too busy with Charlie to even have time to be writing. **

**A/N: I woke up with this idea in my head and then I couldn't get it out of my head so I decided to just go ahead and write it. I pretty much just wrote whatever came to mind so I hope you enjoy it. If you have a few seconds to spare, reviews would be lovely. **

Charlie has always considered himself to be a fairly confident and tolerant person. He's generally pretty easy going and there's not a lot of things that rattle him or make him feel threatened or uneasy or jealous- except for maybe when there's a girl involved but that's to be expected.

There's only one thing that really gets to him- Todd Anderson.

Charlie doesn't have a problem with Todd personally because Todd is a great friend and Charlie cares a lot about him and is lucky to have him. Its Neil that Charlie has a problem with- more specifically, Neil's friendship with Todd.

He knows the notion of best friend "stealing" is juvenile and immature and something that no one above the age of ten should concern themselves with but regardless, Charlie can't help the fiery feeling of jealousy that spreads throughout him whenever he sees Neil and Todd together- making his fists clench and his teeth grind and putting him in an automatic bad mood.

The fact that they're friends doesn't bother him- for God's sakes he's not _that_ petty- it's just the way that Neil acts whenever Todd's around.

It's the feeling of being replaced.

He and Neil have been friends for as long as he can remember- hell, they've grown up together and Charlie has always, always been there for him. They've had good times and bad times and weathered storms together and up until recently, they were more or less inseparable.

Charlie doesn't really believe in the romantic notion of "forever" in any kind of a relationship because eventually, there's going to be something that comes up or something that happens that'll drive two people apart and there's nothing that anyone can do to really avoid that. The strength of a relationship will _always_ fade after a certain amount of time.

He just never really thought that his would fade so quickly.

In just a few months, he'd gone from truly understanding what it meant to be a best friend to just feeling lost in the shuffle of things because now Todd is in the picture- Todd who makes Neil happy and who has just kind of slipped into Charlie's spot.

And Charlie tries really, really hard not to mind because Neil _is_ his best friend and above all, he just wants him to be happy but he'd be lying if he tried to say that it didn't hurt a little.

He and Neil used to spend all their time together and they told each other everything and Charlie knew all of Neil's secrets- secrets that took years for him to find out. And then Todd stepped in and now Neil spends all his time with him and tells him everything and now he knows all of his secrets. It took Charlie years to earn that trust and then Todd gets it within a few months and for Charlie, that's pretty much just a slap in the face.

There used to be things that were just shared between he and Neil- common interests and things they did together, just the two of them- but now they're just for them anymore. They're not special anymore because now Neil does them all with Todd and sometimes when Charlie is given the privileged of being included, he just ends up feeling like a third wheel.

As long as he and Neil are totally alone, they're fine. Things aren't uncomfortable or strained- they just feel natural and normal like they always have. But as soon as Todd becomes involved, it doesn't matter what he and Neil were in the middle of because Charlie always just gets shoved aside and for the most part, ignored, and sometimes, when he sits there and watches them, he feels as if he's suddenly become the invisible man.

He doesn't really place blame on either one of them because that's not exactly fair. He knows what it feels like to have someone you want to spend your time with and have fun with and share important things with. He just wishes that his person- _his_ Neil- was still just his.

Todd makes him feel so utterly inadequate and Charlie just hates himself for that because really, he's Charlie fucking Dalton and he's got confidence that's as impenetrable as a shield and he shouldn't feel this way. He just can't help it.

Neil is just all about Todd now and sometimes, he seems to be all Neil can talk about. Things Todd does or says or writes about- even the ways that Charlie differs from him.

Todd supports the things that Charlie frowns upon.

Todd can say things that put Neil in stitches, but would only raise a smile if someone else had said them.

Todd can do things that Charlie can't.

And worst of all, Todd just understands him and hearing that come out of Neil's mouth makes Charlie want to punch something because hasn't he been the understanding one for all these years?

Charlie still matters; he doesn't doubt that at all, he just knows he doesn't matter as much.

And he doesn't really care if it makes him sound childish or stupid because when he thinks about the fact that he doesn't matter, he really, really wishes he still did.


End file.
